I spend a lot of time wondering why. Why didn't I listen to Ma mere, when she said, "Stay close, Thomas, I'll be serving lunch early so we can leave early. Don't make us wait for you." And I told myself I wasn't hungry that I would be back long before we left.
I brought the pup to the altar, even though the Altar to Dieu is incomplete, and placed him on a flat rock in the center, up front. I didn't know what Dieu was going to do. I didn't even know what I was going to do. But I thought just maybe, just maybe this last crucial pleading, praying, would be answered. And even if we're never rescued, at least Fwa would be saved. I would have Fwa.
But nothing could be further from the truth. I'm without faith. I can't move mountains. I can't walk on water. I couldn't save the sea lion pup. I can't even save myself. I can plead, and I can beg, and shout to the heavens, but nothing I do seems to matter, to anyone.
Blinded by tears, I stumbled over to the rock quarry from the altar, after burying Fwa. I didn't know what I was looking for, if anything. I was following Bijou; but something caught my eye, something I thought was there, on top of a low fissure in the rock, a fissure that doesn't extend to the ground. Was it a button, a coin?
But it was nothing. However, on the other side of the rock fissure I discovered a path, it was difficult to see overgrown over time, but a trail. It isn't visible from the quarry because the rock fissure is small; but wide enough to easily squeeze through to the other side
I followed the trail, not more than a wild animal path, and after struggling though the underbrush for close to five minutes, I ended up at the back wall of a building, built between two towering rock walls.
There is no way around the backside of the building or the towering rock walls, the only way in is through a heavy door in the side of the building, closed and deadbolted.
What's inside the building? And what if it's a door leading to a way off the island? But what if the door is better left closed and locked?
Grann, I don't know if I'll be able to sleep not knowing. Sleep well.